Raining Crack and Hogs
by XInuKagXOXORobStarX
Summary: For my own enjoyment. Written for a friend of mine. Pretty funny, all the good InuKag stuff smushed into one, funny, fluffy fanfic. One-shot


Oh la la. Hey guys, I bet you all just want to shoot me? Am I right? Sorry. You guys probably want me to update "Broken" Well sorry! Okay, so I'm an artist. I do write, but I enjoy drawing more. I'm still working on my Christmas drawings and yeah... anyways on to the information about this.

This was written to one of my friends and then this just turned into pure crack. Well not really, it's not all random. I told her I probably wouldn't upload this, but she told me that I had to. I was going to trash it, but she persuaded me not to. So this has all our cute fun moments of InuKags, as in 'in heat' 'sick' 'movie time' 'thunderstorms' the only thing missing is a blanket scenario.

So yeah, this was purely for some fun and I just wanted some InuKags. I'm warning you, that it's pretty lame. I just kinda did it for practice and again for some InuKag fluff. So I don't want any flames, thank you!

Inuyasha and characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi

Twilight/New Moon belong to Stephanie Meyer

* * *

Rain pounded atop the hut's roof, it was a dreary, cold, wet, and depressing morning. It was pouring outside and lightening would every so often light up the sky.

Inuyasha was the only one up in the hut. He hated storms, they were wet, cold, and the thunder was loud to his sensitive ears. Plus the rain washed away the smells around him, which made him feel like his sense of smell was muted. Not only that, but the rain brought back bad memories of his childhood.

Kagome was buried in her sleeping bag, shielding her body off from the cold air with Shippo curled up in her side.

Sango was sleeping in a corner with a big Kirara to keep her warm, while Miroku was sitting up against the opposite wall of Inuyasha.

Even though it was raining, Inuyasha could smell their scents in the hut. Kagome was in heat, she started yesterday, and boy was she moody when she was in heat.

_'Stupid, moody, bleeding, wench!' _Inuyasha thought.

Inuyasha knew that since it was raining the rest of his groupd wouldn't want to go outside to search for the jewel shards.

_'Keh! Weak humans can't take a little rain.' _Inuyasha thought, which in fact was a lie because it was storming, not drizzling.

Inuyasha heard a rustling as if someone was moving and then heard a yawn. He looked over and saw Miroku beginning to wake up.

"Took you a while." Inuyasha said.

"Good morning to you too, Inuyasha." Miroku said, rubbing his eyes. He looked over and saw the girls, "The girls are still asleep."

"Feh. I guess we are going to stay inside since it's storming." Inuyasha said.

Miroku nodded and looked out the door of the hut. They were staying in a village tonight, since they had destroyed a demon that was tormenting their village.

Inuyasha's stomach growled and he frowned.

Miroku raised an eyebrow, "Hungry?"

Inuyasha's frown deepened, "Stupid stomach needing food."

"Looks like someone woke up with quite a mood today." MIroku said, talking about Inuyasha.

"Shut it monk." Inuyasha growled.

Miroku raised his hands in defense, "Hey, you're the one with the bad mood."

Inuaysha growled and got up heading over to Kagome, about to wake her up to tell her to make him some ramen.

"What are you doing Inuyasha?" Miroku asked the half demon.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to wake up Kagome so she can make me some ramen." Inuyasha replied.

"So...you're telling me that the only reason you're going to wake her up is so that she can make you ramen?" Miroku asked, truly amazed at how selfish Inuyasha was being.

"Keh. Why else would I wake her up?" The annoyed half demon replied.

"Inuyasha that's really selfish..." The monk said.

"Who asked you!?" Inuyasha snapped and turned back to the sleeping girl.

"Don't Inuyasha." A voice stopped him. Inuyasha looked up to see that Sango was awake.

"When did you get up?" Inuyasha asked.

"It's kinda hard to sleep. You guys aren't exactly quiet, you know?" Sango replied.

"Keh." was all the half demon said.

"My dear Sango, I am so very sorry that we woke you." Miroku said, sitting beside Sango. His hand wandered towards her bottom.

"Don't even think about it monk!" Sango warned.

"My lovely Sango, you hurt me thinking I have such intentions." Miroku said with false hurt.

Sango rolled her eyes and turned to Inuyasha, "I can make the ramen for you, Inuyasha."

"Feh. How do I know you can cook?" Inuyasha asked.

"It's not that hard to make ramen. Plus, I was the only girl in my family." Sango replied.

She got up with Kirara following her and walked over to Kagome's yellow bag then took some ramen out.

"You have to start with the fire, though." Sango said to Inuyasha.

"Feh, bosy wench." Inuyasha mumbled and trudged over to the fire pit, starting the fire.

Sango got a pot and filled it with water and poured the noodles into it, setting it over the fire. When it was about done, Shippo woke up to the delicious scent.

"Mmm...can I have some?" Shippo asked.

"Of course you can Shippo." Sango replied, smiling.

"Hey! That's my food, runt!" Inuyasha barked.

"Inuyasha, Kagome has more than enough." Sango snapped back, glaring at him. Inuyasha grumbled, but he did not argue. Once the ramen was ready Sango handed a bowl to everyone.

"What about Kagome?" Shippo asked.

Sango turned, looking at the sleeping girl, "I'll ask her if she's hungry." She said then she got up and walked over to Kagome and gently shook her shoulder.

"Kagome?" Sango gently whispered.

"Mmm..five more minutes, Mom..." Kagome grumbled.

"Kagome, it's me, Sango." She replied.

Kagome rubbed her eyes then opened them. Once her vision cleared she looked over at Sango, "Hm?"

"We were wondering if you were hungry." Sango said to the tired girl.

Kagome yawned, "No...I'm fine, just tired."

"Feh! Weak humans." Inuyasha scoffed.

"Inuyasha, shut up!" Sango said threateningly. The half demon growled but continued to eat his ramen.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Sango asked.

"Well I have _really _bad cramps...." Kagome said, hoping Sango understood what she meant by cramps.

"Ohhh..." Sango said, understanding, "Why don't you go home? You'll have a nice, warm bed." She then suggested.

"Hell no! The wench is stayed here!" Inuyasha barked out.

"Inuyasha, it's raining! All she will do is lay here, inside!" Sango argued. Inuyasha frowned.

"He's just upset Kagome's leaving, he'll miss her." Shippo said, which made Inuyasha growl and he bonked him on the head.

"Kagome!!!" Shippo cried out.

Kagome groaned, rubbing her temples as she sat up, "Inuyasha....sit."

Inuyasha slammed into the floor, ".....wench." he mumbled out. Kagome ignored him and began putting her stuff into her yellow back pack.

"Inuyasha, you should walk her to the well." Miroku suggested.

Inuyasha sat up, dusting himself off, "Keh! Why the hell should I?!"

"Well it's raining and we wouldn't want our Kagome to get hurt, now would we?" Miroku replied.

Inuyasha replied, the monk has a point. So Inuyasha got up and walked over to Kagome, "Kagome?"

"Huh?" Kagome looked up.

"Hop on." Inuyasha said as he crouched down.

Kagome nodded and put her pack on. She then stood up and got onto Inuyasha's back. He gripped her thighs then darted out of the hut and into the storm.

Kagome buried her face into Inuyasha's hair as the rain continued to hit her back. Her hair became wet and stuck to her face, while Inuyasha's flew around, slapping her in the face.

Inuyasha knew Kagome was getting hit by most of the rain and continued to run at high speed towards the well. The last thing he needed was for her to get sick.

Kagome began to shake, since her uniform did not provide much warmth.

Thankfully, Inuyasha made it to the well in no time at all. Kagome climbed down from his back and was about to jump in but then a huge sneeze erupted from her.

Inuyasha slapped his face with a groan and slowly brought his hand down his face. Great, he got the damned girl sick, just fucking great.

"You're sick." The half demon plainly stated.

Kagome sniffled and rubbed her nose, which was beginning to turn red, "No, I'm fine." She replied, not wanting him to worry.

"Don't you lie to me, wench! I know you're sick. Now come on." Inuyasha argued and snatched her upper arm about to jump into the well.

"Why are you going with me? I thought you were going to stay?" Kagome asked, confused at his intentions.

"Keh." Was all the half demon said and he jumped in with the girl.

The familar blue light surrounded them as they made it to the future. When they were on the other side, Kagome doubled over in pain with her arms wrapped around her lower stomach.

"Kagome?!" Inuyasha practically screamed, wanting to know why the girl was in so much pain.

Kagome groaned and squeezed her eyes shut. Her cramps were beginning to get worse. She was suddenly really glad that she was going home, she needed some pain killers.

The worried half demon still hadn't gotten an answer from the girl, which made him even more worried. He kneeled down by the pain stricken girl.

"Kagome...please tell me what's wrong." Inuyasha whispered to her.

"Hurts...." Kagome whimpered.

"What hurts, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, worry etched in his voice.

Kagome shook her head, it was way too embarassing to tell him.

"Kagome....please tell me..." Inuyasha pleaded, wanting to know why the miko was in so much pain.

Kagome pushed herself up, she was not going to tell him.

Inuyasha growled and stood up himself. That girl was too damn stubborn for her own good.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha barked out, agravated at her for not telling him why she was hurting. He was her protector, damnit!

Kagome frowned, "No, Inuyasha." she said and turned to get up the ladder but fell to her knees, suddenly feeling dizzy.

"Kagome! Tell me what's wrong, damnit!" Inuyasha yelled at the fallen girl.

Kagome brought a hand to her head trying to steady her vision. She was NOT sick, she was perfectly fine. Yeah, she had horrible cramps and wanted to rip her uterus out, but she was NOT sick.

Inuyasha growled, "God damnit, Kagome! You're so fucking stubborn!"

Kagome rolled her eyes, and he wasn't? She then felt a hand placed against her forehead. Confused, Kagome blinked and looked up to see worried golden eyes looking into her blue ones.

Inuyasha's frown deepened when he realized that the girl had a fever.

"Shit, Kagome. You're burning up." The half demon said.

Kagome blinked again, still confused. Her eyes then narrowed in at the hand on her forehead.

"I am?" She asked.

Inuyasha didn't answer the girl and picked her up, bridal style, then hopped out of the well and headed towards Kagome's house.

"Inuyasha...I'm fine..." Kagome said, trying get out of his grip which she knew was futile because Inuyasha was several more times stronger than her.

"Quit squirming, wench!" Inuyasha yelled, "You ain't fine."

Kagome stopped and sat there with her arms crossed, a pout on her face.

Inuyasha knew she was pouting, but that girl was just so fucking stubborn. He walked into the house, half expecting for Kagome's kid brother, Souta, to trample him, but all he was met with was silence.

"They're out of town...family thing." Kagome said.

Inuyasha looked down at the girl in his arms, "Why didn't you go with them?"

"Because...they won't be back until next week and I knew you would be upset if I was gone that long." Kagome said.

"Ohh..." was all the half demon said, he hadn't realized that he was such a bother.

Kagome noticed this and looked up into his golden eyes, "Hey, I'm with you by choice." she said.

Inuyasha softly smiled and headed upstairs to her room.

Once they were in her room they were greeted by a loud meow.

"Buyo..." Kagome groaned and Inuyasha set her down onto her feet, keeping a hand on her shoulder just in case she fell over again. Kagome walked over to the fat cat who was lazily laying on her bed. She sat down on the soft comforter and began to pet the cat, what was answered was a soft purr.

Inuyasha walked over and plopped down onto the bed, beside her.

Kagome sighed, rubbing her temples, "I'm gonna take a shower. You can go back if you want." she said.

Inuyasha crossed his arms, "Keh, if I leave who knows what kind of trouble you will get yourself into."

Kagome rolled her eyes, but knew that he was only worried about her. She stood up and walked over to her dresser, taking out some clothes and then headed out into the hallway towards the bathroom.

Inuyasha sighed and layed back onto the bed, taking in Kagome's scent.

Buyo lazily stood up and padded over to Inuyasha, he then curled up onto his stomach with his tail tucked under his nose.

Inuyasha looked down at the fat cat and rubbed Buyo's head which in reply came a purr. Inuyasha began to feel very tired and his eye began to droop, in no time he was fast asleep.

~30 minutes later~

Kagome walked into her room, dressed in purple plaid pajama pants and a light purple tank top. She was drying her hair with a towel, but then stopped when she saw the sleeping half demon on her bed.

Kagome smiled and walked over to the bed, sitting beside Inuyasha. She ran her fingers through his silver bangs, a soft snore was coming from his lips.

Kagome's eyes wandered up to his ears that set atop of his head. She hesitantly brought her hand up to them and brushed the tips of her fingers against them. Inuyasha mumbled and his ear twitched under her touch, Kagome held back a giggle.

Kagome then felt a tickle in her nose and brought her hand up, then sneezed. Buyo, who was sleeping on Inuyasha's stomach, jumped up, startled by the loud noise and shot out of the room. Inuyasha also shot up with a hand on the hilt of his sword.

Inuyasha's eyes trailed across the room looking for any danger. His eyes traveled over to Kagome, whom was rubbing her nose.

Kagome sniffled, "Sorry I woke you."

"Keh." was all Inuyasha said. He then noticed her wet hair, "You hair's wet.."

Kagome rolled her eyes, "Well I did just get out of the shower, if you remember."

"Feh, I knew that." Inuyasha replied.

"Right.." Kagome got up and got her brush, to her brush her hair out. She squeezed her eyes shut in pain and rubbed the sides of her lower stomach.

Inuyasha saw that something was wrong and got up, "Kagome, please tell me what's wrong."

Kagome began to brush her hair, "You can't do anything about it. So don't worry about it."

Inuyasha suddenly felt helpless and frowned, "Kagome just tell me! Maybe I can help." He clenched his fist, she was so stubborn!

Kagome finished brushing her hair and placed her brush down.

"Fine! I have cramps, there!" She yelled and then sneezed.

Inuyasha's ear flicked, "Cramps? Like when you run and your side hurts?"

Yes...and no...It's because of feminine reasons..." she trailed off, a light blush on her cheeks.

Inuyasha's cheeks also turned red, "Ohh...you never told me they hurt."

Kagome sighed and sat on her bed, rubbing her sides, "I didn't want to be a bother, so I just sucked it up, but now they really hurt." she finished.

Inuyasha frowned, feeling bad now, "What can I do?" he asked, wanting to help her.

Kagome hissed in pain, "Nothing really, just get me some water and painkillers."

Inuaysha nodded, "Where are they?"

"You'll have to go downstairs to get the water, but the painkillers are in the bathroom above the sink." She said.

"Alright, I'll be back." Inuyasha hopped up and headed out.

About five minutes later Inuyasha came back holding a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of painkillers in the other. He walked over and handed them to Kagome.

"Thanks." She said and took some painkillers, setting the items on her bedside table.

"Will they go away now?" Inuyasha asked, sitting on the bed as well.

"They should in a few minutes." She said and slid under the covers.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha hesitantly said her name.

"Yeah?" Kagome answered, looking over at him.

"Next time, please tell me when you are in pain." Inuyasha said, looking her in the eyes.

Kagome smiled, "'Kay." Kagome looked around the room, "Are you sure you want to stay?"

"I'm not leaving you unprotected." He replied.

Kagome sat up, "You want to do something?"

"Like what? You're sick and...have feminine issues." Inuyasha said, his face turning pink.

"We could watch a movie." She suggested.

"What's that?" He asked.

"You know, you watched one with my brother once. The one about the ninjas." Kagome replied.

"Oh, that. Alright." Inuyasha said and stood up.

Kagome kicked the covers off of her and also stood up, but she wasn't expecting two strong arms to life her up.

Kagome squealed in suprise, "Inuyasha! What are you doing?!"

"Feh, I ain't letting you walk." Inuyasha said and headed downstairs.

"Why not? I can walk just fine." She argued.

"Knowing you, you will fall and hurt yourself." He said.

"I will not!" Kagome shouted.

"Wench, just let me do my job!" He barked back. Kagome quieted, but she smiled, knowing he cared.

Once downstairs, Inuyasha headed into the living room and set her on the couch.

"You can pick something out." She said. Inuyasha headed over to the TV and looked in the cabinets, which were under the TV and was filled with movies.

"What's this?" Inuyasha asked, holding up _"Twilight"_.

"You wouldn't like that. It's a girly movie about this human girl who falls in love with a vampire, but he doesn't want to risk hurting her, so he's a jerk to her so she'll stay away from him. Eventually they end up together." Kagome shrugged, "I liked the sequel better, _"New Moon"_ because Taylor Lautner was in it majority of the time and he was shirtless. He is so hot!" Kagome said, about to die just imagining him.

"Who's Taylor Lautner?" Inuyasha asked, felling jealousy towards this guy.

"He plays Jacob. He also loves the human girl, Bella, but she doesn't love him back. Funny thing , Jacob is a werewolf." She said.

"I don't like him." Inuyasha said, of course it was a damn wolf.

"You don't like his character because he's a werewolf." Kagome said, laughing. "The series is okay...the books were better. It's just Bella gets on my nerves. She's so stupid and klutzy. I want to like, slap her!" Kagome said.

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow, "Sounds like someone I know."

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

"You." He simply replied.

"I am not an idiot like her!" Kagome yelled.

Inuyasha chuckled, "Kidding."

"Besides, sparkly blood sucking guys don't turn me on." She huffed and crossed her arms.

"Sparkly?" He asked, confused.

"Yeah. Vampires in that movie sparkle in the sun." She replied.

Inuyasha laughed, "Th. they sparkle?! AHAHAHA!"

Kagome also giggled and then smiled, "You have a nice laugh."

Inuyasha stopped laughing and blushed, "So about this Taylor guy...you like the wolves?"

"Huh? No, that's just his character. I just think Taylor is very, very sexy." Kagome replied.

"Keh! I could take him down. He's a weak human and I'm half demon!" Inuyasha bragged.

Kagome rolled her eyes, "Of course you could. You don't even know what he looks like."

"What does he look like?"

Kagome grabbed a magazine and flipped through some pages and then showed it to him, "That's Taylor Lautner."

"Feh. Like I said, puny human." He said.

"Puny? Do not see the muscles on this guy? And his abs?!" Kagome argued.

"You like him." Inuyasha said with a frown.

"I find him attractive, yeah, but I could never be with him. He lives miles away. Besides I like someone else." Kagome said, but then slapped a hand over her mouth once she realized what she had just said.

"You like someone else?" Inuyasha asked, raising an eyebrow, he was interested to know the mystery guy.

Kagome shook her head with her hands still over her mouth. Her face was turning a dark shade of red.

Inuyasha frowned, "Tell me who he is."

Kagome once again shook her head, not about to take her hands off of her mouth, in fear of letting something else slip out.

Inuyasha walked over to the couch, leaning over the blushing girl. Kagome's blush got even darker, if possible.

Inuyasha growled slightly, "Kagome..."

Kagome squeaked, trying to squirm away from him, but Inuyasha put an arm on either side of her with his hands resting on the back of the couch, trapping her.

"Tell me, now." Inuyasha said in a serious tone.

Kagome slowly removed her hands from her mouth, "You can't make me!"

"We'll be here all day if we have to, just to get the answer out of you." he said. Kagome then frowned.

"All you have to do is tell me." Inuyasha stated.

Kagome crossed her arms, looking away.

"Kagome..." Inuyasha growled. Kagome didn't move.

"Tell me." The half demon said.

"I'll 'S.I.T'you." Kagome threatened.

"In this position, I think not." He replied with a smirk.

Damn, he had her there.

"Atleast give me a hint." The half demon pleaded.

It couldn't hurt, right?

"Alright." She said.

"Okay, do I know him?" He asked.

Kagome nodded, "Yes, you know him very well."

Inuaysha thought for a moment, "Is it that stupid Hobo guy?!"

Kagome rose an eyebrow, "His name is Hojo and no..."

Inuyasha gave a sigh of relief. Okay, one down. Hmm...

"Is it Kouga?!" Inuyasha asked, praying it wasn't.

"Nooo....I already told you, I don't like him that way." The girl replied.

Inuyasha frowned, then who?

"Miroku?" Inuyasha asked this time.

"Good God, no. Besides he likes Sango." Kagome replied, suprised he would even ask her that.

"The who the h- IT'S SESSHOMARU!"

"WHAT?!" Kagome bursted out laughing.

Inuyasha frowned, glaring at the girl, "Well is it?!"

"N...No!" Kagome managed to get out, holding her sides which were hurting from laughing so much.

"There is no one else to guess!" The agravated half demon barked.

Kagome finally managed to catch her breath, "You left one out."

"Who?" He asked.

Kagome chewed on her bottom lip, why did he have to so clueless?

"Well....he has golden eyes...and silver hair an-" Inuyasha cut her off.

"I thought you told me it wasn't Sesshomaru!"

"It isn't! Sheesh, I'm not done yet...well he can be a jerk sometimes and gets jealous very easily and has the biggest ego and he can very cocky AND he's stubborn. But he can also be very sweet and shows me that he cares about me. Heck, he risks his life for me like every day....." Kagome trailed off, hoping he was catching on.

"Huh?" Inuyasha still didn't get it.

"You are so clueless Inuyasha." And with that she brought her lips to his.

Inuyasha's eyes widened, but then closed them and returned the kiss. Only in dreams did he imagine himself kissing Kagome and boy was it so much better in real life!

Her lips were so smooth and warm...but there was always a downside to something and this was the fact that people needed air to live.

They both pulled away, both of their faces flush. They both slowly opened their eyes, just staring at eachother for a minute, taking it all in.

"Now do you know who it is?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha nodded, "Uh-huh."

Kagome smiled, "Good." And brought her lips back to his.

* * *

I warned you guys that it was just crack. Course there were some cute moments between them, scratch that most of it was moments between them. I like smushed so many things into one crack one-shot fic. Heh...it was just for my enjoyment.

My old obsession with Teen Titans has come out again, and all I have been reading is Teen Titans. I really want to write a RobStar fanfic so badly, but I'm afraid I might screw it up or make them seem too much like Inuyasha and Kagome. Plus the way Star talks isn't all that easy to get down. I would have to re-read the story like 39480384 times to make sure I got it right xD;

Oh and please don't yell at me for the whole Twilight thing..I use to LOVE Twilight, now it's just meh. The fangirls get annoying and if you think outside of the book you realize that it's not that amazing. But this is just my opinion, if you like it, that's fine with me. I will respect your opinion.

Anyways please review, but no flames cause I did warn you.


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